Dear Hank & John tracks on Soundclound


123 - The Incredible Glamorous Hulk
Dear Hank & John

How do fish get into lakes? How do I stay aware of things without giving them views? Do aliens communicate with sign language? And more! Thank you to Audible for sponsoring this episode! Audible content includes an unmatched selection of audiobooks, original audio shows, news, comedy, and more. They're offering listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to or to download a title free and start listening. You can also text dearhank or dearjohn to 500-500. Email us: [email protected]

122 - The Last Brand Deal
Dear Hank & John

Am I too young to be self-supervised? Can I throw away my dead grandmother's sponges? How do I make a personal retirement PowerPoint for Rick? And more! Email us: [email protected]

121 - Every Plum Has Its Thorn
Dear Hank & John

What is the point of love if it always ends? How do I scream? How do I stop a surprise avian ring delivery? And more! Email us: [email protected]

120 - Snake Cuddle Time
Dear Hank & John

How do I memorize all the birds? Should I join the Navy? How do you eat trail mix? And more! Email us: [email protected]

Special Shorty: It's Project for Awesome Time
Dear Hank & John

In which Hank and John moooostly talk about the Project for Awesome, but we also find out what the palm of your foot is called, how Hank is so good at Scandinavian pronunciation, and how far your obligation to correct fake facts you accidentally spread goes.

119 - Water Is Dry (w/ Greg Miller!)
Dear Hank & John

Why don't I have a lifelong friend? How can I become ruler of everyone with my name? What are snails trying to flee?? And more! Email us: [email protected]

118 - Heavy Baby Bib! (w/ Alex Goldman!)
Dear Hank & John

What counts as significant change? How do you know who you're supposed to buy presents for? Is it weird to let someone know you're thinking of them? And more! Email us: [email protected]

117 - Lightsaber Your Tiny House
Dear Hank & John

What do you do with cereal dust? What happens if kid doesn't like dog? How did cave people cut their fingernails? And more! Email us: [email protected]

116 - Do Not Enter the Craft Fort! (w/ Caitlin Hofmeister!)
Dear Hank & John

How do you surprise loved ones in small apartments? What is the line between archaeology and grave robbing? What is the appropriate time to get into the Christmas season? And more! Email us: [email protected]

115 - Semi-Immortal 35-Year-Olds on Mars
Dear Hank & John

What is the smallest part of the body you can be a doctor in? Why do we rub our eyes when we're tired? How do I turn my imagination off long enough to sleep? And more! Email us: [email protected]

114 - Confused About Batman
Dear Hank & John

Over the last month, Hank and John have been on the road going to cities all across America. Every stop, they did a short episode of Dear Hank and John, and some of those got recorded. Then Hank edited some of the best of those moments into this podcast. How do I promote my guinea pig's Instagram? Is it cold in space? When did you first feel successful? And Many Other Questions Answered!​ Email us: [email protected]

113 - Aardvarks with Guns
Dear Hank & John

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us: [email protected]

112 - Toaster Is a Wolf to Dog
Dear Hank & John

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us: [email protected]

111 - Omagles All the Way Down
Dear Hank & John

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us: [email protected]

110 - One and Less Extra Bone
Dear Hank & John

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us: [email protected]

109 - The Catastrophizing Kindergarten Teacher
Dear Hank & John

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: [email protected]

108 - We Would All Be Flounders
Dear Hank & John

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us: [email protected]

107 - skREvEL!
Dear Hank & John

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: Email us: [email protected]

106 - Cannibal Mermaids
Dear Hank & John

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: [email protected]

105 - Fancy Diving
Dear Hank & John

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: [email protected]