tea tracks on Soundclound

#tea

i have to be okay
tea

constantly reminded of my past self's dumb mistakes wishing i could go back in time dreaming on repeat, climbing up the staircase stepping into open air nicotine for dinner, you ask if i've lost weight the truth is that i didn't mean to panic in the bathroom, 'cause the person in my mirror is a foggy recollection of me but i have to be okay you say there's just too much at stake and i'd throw it all away if i said goodbye today

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
11,228
reckless apathy
tea

cover photo taken by mads chain smoke the hunger away only eating one meal a day on a good day, but the good days will never come i got so used to loss that is sort of became part of me i lose myself in my head i lose my patience in the agony i lost my youth in the fallout of somebody else who took advantage of trust and left me hating myself it's always there in my dreams i put myself through your hell why did you do those things to me? sit down on the side of my bed and contemplate the endless nothing sat inside of my head it's such a slow burn, but the candle is always lit i got so used to fear it learned to manifest in me i fear the ending of it all i fear your reckless apathy i fear that everything's boring and nothing will help it's like it's all in a cycle my dwindling health i feel the breath of the reaper on the side of my neck why do i still get out of bed?

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
14,096
petrichor
tea

when it's raining in the morning and you smell the petrichor from your bed know that i'm with you, there in some way like a fly on the wall in your head when the bad thoughts and the nightmares keep us afraid of the things in our minds know that it's alright, life keeps moving just don't let it leave you behind when you're exhausted and you're lonely and the sadness begins to appear know that somewhere, there are people who love the idea that you're here and when the sky dims, turning pitch black and the clock reads 3 a.m. hit me by phone call or text, calm or panicky mess and we'll go out for milkshakes again cover taken by https://twitter.com/Queen_of__Hades

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
12,545
thunder
tea

thunder outside in the sky, flashing lights i can try, try to sleep sleeping through everything sorry if we had plans, ruining subtle hints make me think that you hate spending time here with me, so do i but i'm stuck here for good

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
12,575
pretty much out of my mind (bootleg)
tea

sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_RDaqFgKU

Hip-hop & Rap
13,462
u were my hvn
tea

:( lyrics: sat beneath your bathroom window incense burning on the floor we're watching stars crawl over rooftops limping on towards heaven's door whispering through awkward secrets fumbled words and quaking hands you and i had bunked with angels sighing through some sacred lands and you... you were my heaven oh, my god... but now there's hell to pay tell me where it is i'll find all the people that i've left behind there is something inside my mind that doesn't sit well with me

Indie
18,492
real enough
tea

when it all falls apart like a house made of cards i will shuffle this deck 'til i fall asleep gentle touch, brittle bones, when we talk on the phone i exist for you, you have all of me i'm a small speck of dust, an inanimite husk of my former self, they are vanishing there's a ghost in my room and it wears the perfume that you used to wear; it's like you're next to me but nothing's ever real enough (x2) you're a voice in my head, at the foot of my bed like a poltergeist, drifting hauntingly and my mind is a void, for the broken, destroyed little parts of me, an infinity this ache in my head makes me quake in my bed i fixate on it, i can't fall asleep with this whine in my ears when the silence appears it is deafining, it is everything but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
28,090
just know i love you like a rose
tea

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert lyrics: just know i'm sorry for it all i know it must be hard to hear i'm glad you left before the fall 'cause i won't make it past this year just know i love you like a rose would love the thorns upon its stem no matter how they might have dug into my skin no matter how things might have ended i will wish for you each night, i'll wish your touch was mine again

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
29,859
everyday
tea

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert lyrics: this anxiety inside of me is tiring my mind i can't cry or sleep or smile or eat or even try to find something physical or tangible to lay alone beside i am singing to the void again, i hum into the night everyday, everyday (x4) the way that i cope with things is unethical and all my clever words have been said before i'm just putting off the inevitable i am feeling more like a vegetable everyday, everyday (x4)

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
20,729
a conversation about identity
tea

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert lyrics: laying up at night no concept of myself i'm lost inside my head you're lost inside, as well i'm breathing in fresh air on my grandparents' front porch while you're laying in the grass or you're staring at the floor and anxious like i am i'm panicking again 'cause i'm losing touch with all the people i call friends you're losing in a staring contest with whatever's in your mirror you are me and i am you but we're not one and i'm inferior i'm three beers past five too many i'm two bowls past too high i'm one forehead kiss away from falling asleep when i realize that my whole life is up in the air my heart is out on a tightrope and my mind is so unaware that the safety net was cut a long time ago so why should i remember when good times come around if the deafening silence of anxiety will drown out the prettiest sounds at the bottom of a riverbed my nightmares are coming on they feel like my favorite song if i didn't know the words whenever it came on

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
29,205
fan (ghost)
tea

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert lyrics: the fan beside me's humming at a steady a# i can just make out the note on my phone screen it's 6 am again and i'm still crying over things that i've been crying 'bout as long as you've known me eternally unhappy i'm alone severing the cartiledge and bone i want to be rid of every piece of me that's left until i float i am a ghost the world around us spins as we wait for it to end hey, guys, do you think that we could do that sooner? waking up's a chore, i walk the labrynth on my floor and realize that i'm a fucking loser eternally unhappy i'm alone severing the cartiledge and bone i want to be rid of every piece of me that's left until i float i am a ghost

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
16,530
kari's lullaby
tea

sleep well, friend. talk to you tomorrow.

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
15,823
flower store
tea

i just wanna buy you flowers (and also i wanna die a little bit) cover art drawn by https://www.twitter.com/phiIotechnicaI lyrics: i wanna work at a flower store and steal you all the roses that i couldn't afford i don't know if i wanna live anymore it all feels the same as it did before i wanna feel like an open door a shattered window on your bedroom floor i don't know who i really am anymore it all feels the same, but i'm never quite sure i wanna wait here with bated breath and cry in the corner while you lay and rest i can be your shoulder when you feel upset just lay your head down, honey, please don't fret i wanna sleep in a stranger's bed just to overanalyze every word you said i don't really know if there's anything left but i don't wanna fall in love, i wanna fall to my death

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
60,913
jeffrey lewis - cult boyfriend cover
tea

yeah yeah yeah shout out to dana

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
20,704
here we go again
tea

i've never felt less like myself than when i'm naked in reflections truly wish that i could exit this body and it's coming on again starting to crush again can't wait to fuck up every friendship that i've made but i've never felt more like myself than when i'm drunk alone at 3 a.m. again 'cause my stupid brain can't help but get attached to every person whose attention even barely starts to drift a bit my way oh, here we go again here we go again

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
64,158
sorry
tea

you're probably having the same conversations with your friends that i always have with mine about how i'm too hung up and how i need to just get over it but these kinds of wounds can only heal with time so let me know if ever there is anything that i can do to help you out or make you feel alright 'cause i still think about you often, i still wonder how you're doing i still fear that you'll let this world dim your light i'm sorry for it all

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
64,303
tiffany - nothing special cover
tea

@imtiffany go check out the original: https://soundcloud.com/imtiffany/nothingspecial art by https://twitter.com/cattactoe

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
34,188
chameleon boy
tea

thanks a million cover photo shot by alex aka soupisnasty you were a savior to me a break in my aching routine you picked me up, put me back on feet and now that you've left, i'm breaking i'm glad that you're doing well it's a sight for sore eyes, can't you tell? nothing makes me feel my missions complete like knowing you smile where you dwell chameleon boy chameleon boy you're blending in just like everyone else in the wreckage of all i destroyed

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
22,771
to be free
tea

yep. still miss u. lyrics: the beauty that i once saw in the world must've transferred itself into you 'cause i feel your precense at every moment your voice in whatever i do and i'm tired of trying and laying awake wishing death would come take me at last to think i exist is a fable to me i'm unable visit the past so i'll rot in this grave and soon you will find someone better than me with a beautiful smile and a daily routine and they'll take from your heart what i placed when you left and they'll toss it aside like stale cigarettes AND YOU'LL BURN ME ALIVE AND INHALE MY INSIDES AND I'LL TURN INTO SMOKE AND I'LL FLOAT IN YOUR EYES AND YOU'LL CRY LIKE WE BOTH DID EVERY NIGHT AND I'LL FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING FEELS LIKE to be free... to be free

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
55,568
don't love an artist
tea

feelin' gross & morose lyrics: don't love an artist if you don't love yourself 'cause they'll paint all your flaws and they'll make them look beautiful as hell and don't love an artist if you like what they make 'cause you'll be immortalized in thousands of notebook lines and splotches of paint and when they leave you'll be stuck with a hole in your chest with the scent of their skin and the feel of their bed where they rest and you can't forget 'cause you live in their works and when you see those pieces they just make you feel worse 'cause they knew who you are oh, they knew very well but the truth is that now what you're left with is only a shell so don't love an artist 'cause they'll take who you were and they'll hide you in acronyms bury you deep in the shapes of their words and when they leave you'll be stuck with a hole in your chest with the scent of their skin and the feel of their bed where they rest and you can't forget 'cause you live in their works and when you see those pieces they just make you feel worse they just make you feel worse

Folk & Singer-Songwriter
64,291
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