the song is about me putting all the songs titled i wanna die on a playlist trying to look for songs i could relate with and i couldn't find a single song i could relate with , some for obvious reasons of course , some noteable examples were :
1.i wanna die in los angels
2.i wanna die at 69
3.i wanna die in paris
4.i wanna die for a gin tonic
it wasn't all bad , cause i found songs like
someone still loves you boris yeltsin - Think i wanna die
AFI - silver and cold
I wish I could come to create more without losing touch and hearing people say stuff they didn’t actually say as I walk away
I close my eyes just to rest and I wished I closed my eyes more
so I’d actually feel good , so I’d enjoy the little things
I just want be happy without a reason , to look at a flower and feel good without knowing why , everything’s so-so for me , creating this song is not fun for me , so I’m a stop looking at clouds now.
Self-restraint doesn’t come easy to me, I scroll down then I feel like shit, mindlessly playing games then I feel like shit, I cum then I feel like shit and tired.
It’s like I have to tie myself down and throw away the key just to read.
And this is an endless cycle , that is my every day, I wish to not make myself hurt with this, this is pain , I just want to know more, that’s what gives me joy, not be stuck in this routine, I dearly want to wake up from this.